dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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