tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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