Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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