Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
