I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
