not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
