come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
