She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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