Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
