I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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