I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
