i permit you to call me
honey bunches of taint.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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