Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
