it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
