dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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