Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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