what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
