His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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