why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
