conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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