he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
