I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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