He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
