So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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