the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
