I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
