That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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