The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
