either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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