hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
