OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
