By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
