I CAN MOONWALK!
He kissed a someone with a penis
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
