Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
