We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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