You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
