you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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