Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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