i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
