I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
