How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
