"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
