return my video game
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
