i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
is it fun? or sober?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
