some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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