It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
