We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
