Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
