Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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