My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
