No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
