Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is wine microwaveable?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
