why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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